Show, don't tell

I was thinking... people who call themselves just artists annoy me.

OK. Every profession, including that of a con man, could be considered an art. I looked up the word artist to make my argument valid, and though there are several definitions, my argument holds plenty of water.

According to dictionary.com, art⋅ist   /ˈɑrtɪst/ Pronunciation [ahr-tist]

–noun
1. One, such as a painter, sculptor, or writer, who is able by virtue of imagination and talent or skill to create works of aesthetic value, especially in the fine arts.
2. A person whose work shows exceptional creative ability or skill: You are an artist in the kitchen.
3. One, such as an actor or singer, who works in the performing arts.
4. One who is adept at an activity, especially one involving trickery or deceit: a con artist.

A mechanic could have perfected his skill of fixing cars into an art. A plastic surgeon could be considered an artist, because he/she sculpts people's faces and bodies into something aesthetically pleasing (usually, anyway). A writer is an artist, because he/she creates an image with words.

Art is such an abstract thing, that to call oneself JUST an artist without specifying which kind, is, well, pretentious.

And it's pretentious, because especially when you take definition number two (A person whose work shows exceptional creative ability or skill) into consideration, you realize that "artist" isn't just an occupation-- it's a level of achievement and skill.

So, all you writers, painters, singers, actors, photographers, tattooists and others out there, who use their creativity to make the world a better place aesthetically-- a bit of advice: specify what kind of artist you are, otherwise, you have a high opinion of yourself which may be in its place; but it's better to let people make that conclusion on their own.

Show, don't tell.

Open Water. More than just a scary movie.

I've never been a big fan of scaring myself. The "adrenaline rush" that daredevils rant and rave about, and seem to be addicted to, is not something I want to induce with fear. Sky diving, bungee jumping, diving in shark-infested waters-- all that stuff just doesn't appeal to me and I doubt I'd get anything so pleasant as an adrenaline rush from doing them.

Scary movies also fall into this group of unappealing, supposedly adrenaline-rush-inducing things. It has been years since the movie Open Water made waves and won rave reviews for its raw style and simple story; a stressed out, workaholic couple go on a much needed vacation and have one heck of an adventure when they get left behind by their diving tour boat in shark-infested waters.

When I first heard about this movie, it, like any other scary movie, did not appeal to me. Moreover, it was annoyingly reminiscent in its style and popularity at the time of its release to the popular Blair Witch Project, which I never bothered to see. All around me, though, people were talking about Open Waterand reviewers were praising it. On the plus side at the time of its release, Open Waterproved that it wasn't necessary to have big shot filming equipment and George Clooney with Angelina Jolie in a movie for it to be big and incredibly entertaining. These are all good things to hear about a movie, especially when you, like me, want to be a writer who becomes an overnight success from something simple, yet genius. But nonetheless I had no desire to see what seemed to me like a modern-day and independent take on Jaws.

It wasn't until my sister's co-workers convinced her to watch Open Waterthat I ventured into scary, shark-infested waters for entertainment's, as well as curiosity's sake. I was nervous at first and had a bit of a struggle with myself deciding whether I should jeopardize my future relationship with the ocean or not, but I finally worked up the courage to sit down and watch this movie-- a little over four years after its release....

And. Well. I can safely and truthfully say I liked it. It was entertaining and raw in a good way. Albeit the actors were unknown, they were really good. I still need to explore the DVD's special features to understand exactly how such a movie was made, but I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that these two actors really were just thrown in the middle of the ocean and surrounded by sharks without lines to be memorized-- it was that convincing to me. I'm not going to spoil the end, but the ending was shocking, haunting and completely unpredictable.

I found after watching this movie that it is not meant to scare, or just give you an adrenaline rush, which I didn't experience. No. Maybe that was what its writer and director wanted it to be, a vehicle to scare, but I wasn't left with a fear of the water, or even sharks. My relationship with ocean waters and sharks is the same as it was before viewing this movie-- I only swim out enough to submerge myself and be able to touch the floor, and stay where there are a lot of people around. Though, I've cemented my decision to never go scuba diving, not because of the diving itself, but because of all the things that could go wrong because of human error and/or incompetence. I could get left behind on a snorkeling trip, too, I suppose, but snorkeling is generally done in shallower waters, and anyway, that's all I'm agreeing to in the future.

No. What I came out with from this movie was a realization and a newfound respect for how volatile life truly is. One minute you're stuck in a rut, doing mundane and boring things you don't think you'll ever miss, and the next you're not sure if you're gonna come out of a horrific situation alive to do those mundane and boring things you suddenly miss.

Open Water, to me, is a reminder that we should never work too hard to cherish the simple pleasures in our daily lives, because when we do, we might end up like Daniel and Susan-- shark bait.

Killing two birds with one stone, err, um, credit card.

I am writing from Houston, where I am staying with my brother and sister-in-law. I actually arrived on Thursday evening, but as luck would have it, it was the same day that the computer here decided to get a nasty and debilitating virus, preventing me from e-mailing or updating my blog. I had to resort to using my sister-in-law’s iPod touch, which has internet service, to wish belated birthdays and simply check my e-mail.

At the same time, before I even left Denver, I have been looking for a laptop to call my own and knowing that I was coming to stay with my brother for a few days, I decided to save the shopping for one until I got to Houston. My brother and his wife have been very patient with me and willing to drive me around Houston to every store that sells computers the last two days. At first what I had in mind to buy was one of those mini notebooks that have the bare minimum. I liked the idea of having a tiny computer that weighed less than five lbs that would be easy to take places and serve my very modest purposes. The more I looked at those kinds of laptops, though, the more I realized that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to get something so stripped down and basic. As humans we always want more, I told myself. For one thing, the ones that are good are a little pricey, and for another, the ones I can afford are missing one or two components I’d rather not do without, like a CD drive, for instance. For some reason, computer manufacturers are taking CD drives out on some of their models, especially the smaller ones and it’s not something I’m willing to give up. Because of all these cons, I exed out the idea of getting such a basic thing and decided to look at regular-sized laptops, instead.

Surprisingly and satisfyingly fast, I found the computer I wanted on day two of my search and purchased it. I absolutely love it. I've killed two birds with one stone- I've managed to solve the issue of not having a fully working computer for me and my hosts, as well as making a purchase I'm happy with and confident about.

Back to movies and other fun things

School is out, the newspaper is on hiatus until January and I have all this free time to do anything I want. There are a lot of things I want to do, as is usually the case with me, but before I let myself go crazy with a suddenly open schedule and tons of free time, I asked myself what it was I was not able to do when school and the paper were keeping me busy.

Why, watching movies and reading for leisure took quite a hit once school and the newspaper got underway in September. I have other more serious things planned for this break from school involving the research and writing of my labor of love novel, but when all that gets to be too much, I decided I'd do the things that I love to do the most other than writing... I would read fun books and watch DVDs. That's my plan as long as I'm in Denver through the break.

As things started winding down with school, I was able to finish the book I had started in August and now I am almost done with another book. I have at least two other books to keep me in reading heaven without interruption after I finish the current one, and I am fully covered and one happy camper in the reading department.

Now, the movies. I have watched uh-lot of movies since last Friday and I'd like to recommend a few of them. This way, I get to flex my movie reviewing muscles and you will know what movies I liked or didn't.

First, I will begin by talking about The Last King of Scotland. I really liked this movie that gave Forest Whitaker a well-deserved Oscar for playing a man who can scare with a look; former Ugandan leader Idi Amin. This is probably a movie most people have seen already, as it's relatively old now, but if you haven't seen this, see it. James McAvoy, an actor I never paid much attention to-- come to think of it, I don't think I've seen any other movie with him (No, I haven't seen Atonement yet either, but it's on my list of movies to see over break)-- has a new fan in me, thanks to his amazing performance as Dr. Nicholas Garrigan. This movie is quite disturbing and perhaps not one that can be stomached by all, but the disturbing images are necessary to demonstrate Amin's brutality and atrocities against his own people, sometimes those very close to him, even. Of course, this movie is a fictionalized story based on real events and people, so I hesitate to believe everything the movie depicted, and besides I don't let Hollywood teach me history, but I think it did a good job in showing us a take on what kind of man would do all the things Idi Amin did. The Last King of Scotland is unforgettable for a lot of reasons.

The next movie I'm going to talk about is Beowulf. I don't know why I picked this up, but I did with great interest and brought it home. Again, I don't know why I did that, seeing as how I hate Angelina Jolie and having read the epic poem in high school, I wasn't sure how you would make a movie out of it. I also found it surprising that Anthony Hopkins, Robin Wright Penn and John Malkovich were part of the cast. I had missed the fact that this movie was done in 3D and thought there was something really weird about Robin Wright Penn... she didn't look real. Then Anthony Hopkins entered the scene and he looked weird, too. Then I figured it out-- that this movie was done in 3D. Weird, I thought, but OK. Then the dialogue began as well as the conflict. Suddenly, Beowulf, a mere monster slayer in my memory, became a complicated man with some major inner-demons and conflict. What a clever twist to an otherwise straightforward story about a hero who saved the people from the evils of a demon and its mother! This take on Beowulf gives each character depth and plenty of story and plot to keep you engaged. The good news is, Angelina Jolie's part is relatively small and it suits her... she's nothing but a hot and sexy demon who lures men away from their duties to fulfill her own agenda. I thought she did a fantastic job and I was entertained throughout this fun movie.

Next up is a horrible movie titled Before the Devil Knows you're Dead. I picked this up, because it starred Phillip Seymour Hoffman, whom I love. The title was a little intriguing, as was the plot, which involved two brothers deciding one day to rob a mom & pop jewelry store. *Snore*, but there is a twist... it is their parents' jewelry store that they decide to rob. Things go completely wrong and it's a downward spiral from there that drives each character to do things that make you want to smack each one of them upside the head for being so stupid, or just plain horrible people. Hoffman is the brother with major marital, financial and drug issues, who thinks up the whole thing. Ethan Hawke plays the younger brother whose incompetence leads to his mother being shot and Marisa Tomei is the annoying wife of Hoffman's character. To be honest, I don't understand why Tomei's character was written into the script to begin with, because all her character offered was way too much unnecessary nudity and a means for us to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman naked and huffing and puffing, if you know what I mean... which is quite disgusting, by the way. Just when you think these two brothers and Tomei's character are awful, you are then introduced to their father, and then you begin to understand why these two brothers are so messed up. In every group of movies brought home there is bound to be one that aggravates you, right? That's what this movie did... it aggravated me. Greatly.

Death at a Funeral is the last movie I'm going to talk about, because you always want to save the best for last. This is a great movie hailing from Britain and ranks, in my book, as one of the funniest, if not the funniest movie I've ever seen. It's rare to find a truly funny movie geared at adults without drugs or sex in the equation... err... wait. This movie is pretty much built on these two things. Sex and drugs. At a funeral. Doesn't sound so innocent does it? But it is! This movie is a look at what might happen when you bring a bunch of people together to attend the funeral of a man with a secret, with an American little person as one of the attendees and a very mobile bottle of valium with something else in it. Bottom line: You will laugh a lot at this movie up until the very last minute.

These are the movies that I had opinions about. I hope you find them helpful, agreeable, or at the very least interesting. Until next time!

Romancing the Stone with a Colombian in the room

I haven't written about Thanksgiving week yet, and now it seems so passe that I don't want to just write about how Thanksgiving week went, albeit it was anything but uneventful.

Plenty of things happened over Thanksgiving this year and they were all good things. For instance, my brother and his wife came out to Denver for a visit over the holiday and stayed Wednesday night through Tuesday morning... that's six days. What's so special about that? Well, for one thing this is the first time, in a very very long time that my brother has been able to come out for a period longer than three or four days. That is, of course, if you count the day when he actually has to board a plane and go back to whence he came from, ridiculously early in the morning. OK, so that's not so exciting now that I'm writing about it. I mean, if you really think about it it's not even two full days extra from the usual. But you know, it's like money-- if it's anywhere over $50, it sounds like a lot of money for you to do plenty of things with, but when you go out there and try to put that money to work it suddenly and very quickly dwindles down to mere peanuts before you even get a chance to spend it. It's psychological, obviously.

Another thing that made this Thanksgiving super special was the fact that it was my sister-in-law's first visit to Denver and stay at our humble abode. Still not very exciting to anyone but us... *damn*. BUT if you recall what I wrote at the beginning of this post, my intent isn't to write about Thanksgiving, but rather something that took place during the Thanksgiving holiday. Something that I've been mulling over in my head for a few days and now feel ready to write about.

One evening during my brother's stay we decided to watch a family favorite-- Romancing the Stone. If you're not familiar with this flick, it is total escapism and adventure that takes you from a romance novelist's apartment in New York City, to a treasure hunt in Colombia. Now, the significance of my brother and his wife's visit is the fact that my sister-in-law happens to be Colombian. Adding another first to her list, she viewed this piece of pure 80s entertainment.

I found out a long time ago that though this movie is set in Colombia, it was not shot there due to an influx of kidnappings right around the time the crew was supposed to go down there. Instead, they shot it in Mexico. OK, I thought. It may not be authentic Colombia, but it should be generally close. I have no idea what I mean by generally close, but I expected something to be accurate even though this is hardly a movie that required more than someone's fun imagination and creativity to produce.

Putting aside Michael Douglas's inability to pronounce Cartagena correctly throughout the movie by adding one of those squiggly Spanish accents to the "n", so that Cartagena (it's spelled just like it sounds, only the "g" is an "h") is Cartagenia. Or more precisely, Cartahaynia, pronounced with a deliberate twang. That's annoying and completely incompetent on the director's part, but I digress. No, I'm talking about the complete disregard for the distinct differences between Latin America and Central America... folks, they're totally different. They are two different continents with different landscapes, cultures, climates and Spanish dialects.

What bothered me the most after watching Romancing the Stone with a Colombian in the room was how much was ridiculously made up. The first thing that made my brother and his wife chuckle was a close up shot of a supposed Colombian license plate. I can't imagine replicating a country's license plate would be that difficult, even if there was no internet to make such information easily accesible. The second thing that made them burst into laughs were the gators just roaming about on pavement. The dialect spoken was Mexican and the people were Mexican. Not even the native dress of peasants or the police/military were accurate, according to my sister-in-law. "Not even close," she said. My favorite was the llama... there aren't any in Colombia, or Mexico for that matter. They really went out of their way to be wrong, I guess.

After saying all that, you're probably wondering why I'm making such a big deal about an 80s movie with a romance novelist as its main character. Well, it's mostly because I am doing research for a historical fiction story I hope to turn into a book one of these days. Fiction has always scared me more than non-fiction, because fiction is, well, fiction. You, the writer, make it up and it's all you. If you make a mistake, you really look stupid and people will roll their eyes. I know, because I roll my eyes all the time at fiction that pretends to know what my people-- Arabs and/or Muslims-- are like. I've also read and seen fiction that makes Denver look like this snow-covered place where people wear their coats all winter long over their Denver Broncos gear and go on about how cold it is with a cowboy's twangy accent. I grew up and have lived in Denver for 20 years, and I can tell you that that painting of Denver is pretty much bologne.

Finally, I am of the total belief that if you're going to go out on a limb and do something, you should do it right or don't do it at all, otherwise the Colombian in the room will laugh at you.