Why did I do that?

"We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears." ~Francois duc de la Rochefoucauld

I am not feeling so good today. Not because I’m physically sick, but because I broke a promise to myself.

People promise themselves they’ll eat better, they’ll work out more, or they’ll make more of an effort to keep in touch. Such promises are dubbed resolutions sometimes, I think for nothing else than to block out the word that gives the whole thing a tone of seriousness; promises.

There are also promises more serious, more significant to a person’s happiness and well-being. A person must keep these in order to live well with themselves. I made myself a promise of that nature a little over a month ago, and now I feel pretty crummy for acting like someone I would hate.

What makes it worse is that minus the promise, just doing what I did brings with it oodles of icky feelings that make me feel down on their own. Add letting yourself down to the mix and it is sheer agony.

Weird, how the mind works against us sometimes. In the meantime, I know there is nothing I can do about my failure, other than to get back on the horse and renew the promise in the hopes that I don’t break it a second time. I need to keep it so I can be happy with every aspect of me, toward me.