...and I'm an addict

I have an addictive personality. I wish that could be taken as me meaning that my personality itself is something that can get someone addicted to it, it's so wonderful and great, but that's not what I mean. I just mean that it's easy for me to get addicted to things.

My addictions are not related to drugs or alcohol or cigarettes or anything of the sort, no. Instead, I get addicted to people, ideas, works of literature, songs, movies, TV shows, sporting events, countries...anything that leaves an impression on me and inspires me to better myself and understanding can easily become an addiction for me.

Now, it's safe to say that my addictions are harmless and actually good for the soul and intellectual mind. Can you honestly hold it against me that I become obsessed with an author and spend months just reading through his or her entire catalog of works? I don't think you could, and in fact, I'd say that this addictive personality of mine has led me to become a curious and well-informed person in a lot of things I don't think I would know anything about if I didn't have this tendency to Google every little detail about something or someone.

Of course, nothing is all good, just as nothing is all bad. There is a pro in the face of every con, and vice versa. An addiction of mine has proven to be one of a bad kind.

You see, for close to four years now I've been very active on Facebook, going so far as to treat it as some kind of therapeutic place where I can update my status to get stuff off my chest, or just to put things into perspective. There's nothing wrong with that the way I'm putting it, and it's been going on for so long that it's hard to see the harm in it. But I spotted harm a few days ago and I can't help but feel like I need to have an intervention for myself.

The intervention has consisted of just me recognizing that I spend way too much time on Facebook and Twitter, checking my e-mail at an obsessive rate and generally being dependent on the Internet to provide me with entertainment. Realizing such a thing I decided to wean myself and get myself back into a healthy and balanced relationship with the Internet and what it offers, which is mostly good stuff, but only in moderation.

It's been two full days since I updated my status on Facebook. Twitter, I haven't even visited for those two days, and I only check my e-mail when I'm at the computer, rather than on my iPod every few minutes. I feel happier, more productive and generally less insane than I did when I was feeding into an obsession with something that eats away at a person's ability to just "be" without dependency on technology to make being worthwhile.

I may have an addictive personality, but I have also been blessed with a clear vision of my faults, as well as the strength to try to fix them.

This is worthy of Intrepid Media, but I've already written about this topic twice there...

Facebook has been very much a part of my life since September of last year. For the last nine months, I've made it a point to visit Facebook each day and check out everything from my friends' new pictures and status changes, to the last moves my opponents have made on Scrabulous and Chess. Every once in a while someone will acknowledge my existence on Facebook and leave me a comment they more than likely sent to their 90 other Facebook friends. Sometimes I feel really special because I got a personalized note on one of my various walls, usually after I wrote a personalized note meriting a reply.

For the most part, I behave much the same way everyone on Facebook does... I horde friends, feeling proud each time the number of friends increases, but do very little to actually socialize.

These friends, or a large majority of them are not really my friends. In fact, one of my "friends" is a stranger who poked me continuously until I added him to my list. I know very little about the guy, but he just really wanted to be my friend, apparently. I appreciate his strong liking of me, so I made it a point to write "Happy Birthday" on his wall when the day came.

You could argue that you can make actual friends on Facebook, but that would have to be something achievable by someone who makes friends with ease in real life, too. I make friends, and I keep them for years. I'd say a lifetime, but I'm a little too young to make such bold statements about the future of each of my long-term friendships. Life and circumstances change a little too much to be so sure of such a volatile part of life. But I digress... I have very few mere acquaintances. It has been this way all my life, and I don't think Facebook is gonna change this part of my DNA.

Now, I've joined Facebook out of my own accord, initiated a number of Facebook friendships, also of my own accord, and gotten in touch with people from my childhood I'm glad I got in touch with after all these years. Facebook got me in touch with a couple people from elementary school, a few from high school who I felt were real friends back then, and have proven to me today that my adolescent instincts were correct. I'm thankful to Facebook for that.

I'm also thankful to Facebook for the extension of friendship from other websites less personal. I've added several people who are acquaintances through the internet, but I'm sure if distances were shortened we'd be buddies, no question about it. I love having Facebook to bring me a little closer to these new additions in my life.

With all the good that Facebook has provided, it has also provided annoyances. I've gotten in touch with people I didn't like when I was a kid, forced to play with them, and I still don't like them now. I've had people leave dumb comments on my pictures... just look at the picture, I'm not interested in your input, or your photography expertise. I've had people completely ignore my birthday, making it more hurtful because of how easy it is to know when my birthday is. I've seen people I thought were above such behavior, behave in less than becoming ways by receiving and responding to some pretty raunchy comments and other things Facebook allows its users to distribute. I've seen the trashiness of several people surface and put me in shock, because I never would've guessed I could befriend or be acquainted with someone of that caliber.

Also, people in general just annoy me on Facebook, because again, I get annoyed with people in real life, too. On Facebook, however, it's a bit more concentrated for some reason.

There is no phenomenon of Facebook for me. Facebook is simply my real social life, translated into digital code, and much like life in general: Facebook is what you make of it, with a few more games and fun quizzes.