There's definitely a shadow of a doubt

I'm having some second thoughts about my choice for Assistant Editor.

Though she does what I ask with speed and gusto, it's her conduct that is making me doubt my decision. With the exception of one writer leaving us, it's becoming clear to me that this person I've chosen for my assistant is the cause of our staff retention problem. We lost yet another writer today, who seemed just fine at yesterday's meeting, but ended up emailing me this morning to say he was quitting without reason.

I'm not officially Editor yet, which means she's not officially my assistant yet. I suppose it's not too late to change my mind, but that doesn't make it any easier on me. I've had several people come to me and express their less than good feelings toward this person, and though at first I chose to just ignore it all, and focused on what she could bring to the job, it's getting harder to ignore people's comments. This is mostly because EVERYONE has something to say about her that is less than flattering. The males and females on the staff of all ages and walks of life all either hate her, or have heard that everyone hates her.

This is problematic for me, because with such a hated individual as my right-hand person, it's going to be difficult to keep the staff happy. In the meantime, I've been sitting back and watching her conduct, and at the very least we have different management styles. She wants to "command authority" and basically rule with an iron fist everything from the work that's turned in, to making sure that staff don't breathe wrong during "newspaper time". She lacks diplomacy, BIG TIME, and has a tendency to alienate people. She's loud and talks over people. She'll ask a question, I start to answer, and before I've even answered completely, she'll start the next question. This irritates me to no end, and I imagine everyone else who deals with her.

This is not including this habit she has of taking her shoes off and putting her bare feet up on a chair while we're trying to "command authority" and be professional (I put things in quotation marks that she has actually said herself). Call me old-fashioned, but at least when a professor is speaking in front of the class, it's inappropriate to have your feet up, facing him or her. It's unprofessional, disgusting and totally poor in taste.

I hope I can deal with all of this in a professional way that leaves everyone happy.

Meanwhile, yesterday I found out that I no longer have a Copy Editor, have no ad space sold yet, and am in desperate need for writers and an ad sales rep. I went and spoke to a business class trying to recruit an ad sales rep and a business writer, expecting it to be big, but found that it was a puny class of just barely 10 people, all who didn't seem interested at all in anything I had to say.

Issue One is going to look absolutely pathetic, and I'm in deep doodoo, and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it, because it all depends on PEOPLE.

Which brings me back to my original statement that people... suck... the... life... out... of... me!

Change should not always be embraced

I don't know about any other Facebook users, but I'm hating the new layout. It's not user-friendly at all, and it gives too much information in the news feed. The home page is overwhelming, what with numerous individual tabs that lead you to things you were able to see all on one page with one click of the mouse, and a little bit of scrolling.

Now, I made use of the "send feedback" link provided, and told Facebook developers that I hated the new layout. I also mentioned that it's hard on the eyes, much like MySpace, which I find so incredibly ugly and repellant. I got a generic reply from them a day later telling me that they appreciate my writing in, but they offered no comfort that they will go back to the old Facebook.

This brings me to the subject of how things that work perfectly are ruined with useless changes, or by simply being discontinued. I've had an influx of such incidents lately, and it's really beginning to grind on me how whenever I get used to something and think it's the best there is, some new employee at the company that provides this thing decides to show how they have an innovative idea, and ruin things for the rest of us.

Aveda did this to me by discontinuing the leave-in conditioner I have been using for two years. I mean, I had the bottle for two years... that's how good this stuff is. When I ran out, I went to their little store in the mall, and what do I find? That they discontinued this perfect product and replaced it with a bottle half its size, double its price, and does things I'm not too concerned with doing to my hair!

I walked out of there steaming mad, because apparently, the product I loved so much had been discontinued for over a year. Now I'm stuck trying to find a leave-in conditioner that is as affordable as that of Aveda's Elixir, and does the same job. This is one difficult task and I've been using Sunsilk's leave-in conditioner in the meantime, while I hunt for something better. Thanks stupid Aveda person with a stupid vision.

Things like this leave me feeling paranoid that my favorite products--especially beauty and hygiene products-- are going to disappear off shelves. Just yesterday I was at Walmart and made sure for the upteenth time recently that the spray I use to protect my hair from heat styling is still being manufactured and still has a spot on the shelf. I was happy to see that it is still there, and when I run out soon, I will be able to just go to Walmart and grab it in passing.

Why fix it, if it's not broken? That's a question I'd like to ask Facebook, Aveda and any other company that lets some idiot present and implement supposedly innovative ideas. Your products are just fine the way they are... stop messing with them!!! Innovation should improve products and their value to the consumer, and both Facebook and Aveda missed the mark on that aspect.

A bit of advice: Don't embrace every change that comes your way!

Juno

I finally saw Juno.

Obviously, I've heard what everyone has heard about it... how it's good, and refreshing, and a runaway hit. But I've also heard some negative things about it, like how it tries too hard to be cool and deep. It won an Oscar, so there must be some truth to the kudos, I thought. But the Oscars have often commended movies that are nothing special.

After hearing these differing views, I popped the DVD in, and started watching.

What I saw was a good movie. Not great, or innovative, but good. I saw that it did try too hard at times to be cool and deep, but not to the point where it ruins the humor or seriousness of it. I saw that it was deeper than a kiddie pool, but only as deep as your neighborhood adult pool gets. Oscar material? Not really, but again... the Oscars commend movies that are nothing special all the time.

Verdict: I liked it.

People suck... the life out of me!!!

It is now day 12 of Ramadan, and I think the effects of it are beginning to catch up with me. I'm simply too exhausted to construct coherent sentences when I don't have to, hence, my absence from my blog.

Some major changes have taken place just in the last four days. I should be excited to be announcing this, and though there is a part of me that is ecstatic, there is a part of me that is sad, given the circumstances that this came to be under.

I am now runner-up for Editor-in-Chief of the Arapahoe Free Press newspaper!

I'm excited and looking forward to this new and extremely valuable opportunity, should I be formally selected (I will find out by next Thursday, I believe). BUT the Editor, who has become a sort of friend, is now out of the picture, making me feel a little crummy, since he was really wanting this position. It's especially unfortunate, because James, the previous Editor, is basically being screwed by what we all believe is some shady business in the hiring process. He is working on returning to the paper, but not necessarily to an Editor capacity, given what he must do in order to come back.

I'm also sad, because James and I worked really well together. We were always on the same page with AFP-related things, as well as non-AFP-related things. We became friends quick and I think it's a friendship that will continue outside of the newspaper. We had great chemistry as professional partners. I'm very upset by his absence, and am crossing my fingers for his return as anything, because he actually knows what he's doing!

In the meantime, I've had to take on big responsibilities I liked not having as Assistant Editor. I've picked an Assistant Editor for myself, and I believe and hope that she is the right choice. If she's not, I have no idea who else to go with, because nobody else fits the bill for the kind of dedication I want in someone I will rely heavily on. We'll see if my judgement is on target. If not, I can always call Palin up. (Hah!)

It's exhausting to think of all the things I must do to get this paper up and ready to go to print. We've already pushed the deadline out a week, and it still looks like something hard to achieve.

I'm sorry to say that people are the main problem. Though I understand that school and classes are the main reason why each one of us is there, I still think that extracurricular activities should be given time and effort. After all, we're not asking people to pick up trash for free, so I don't understand why they are acting like we're twisting their arms into writing for us, and being such pains to deal with. They get experience, their names in print AND they get paid. What are we doing wrong? Misjudging the people who come through our door? As far as I could see, they were willingly coming through that door, and willingly accepting the assignments we threw their way. It's only fair that we ask for them to fulfill their end of the bargain without delay, but life isn't fair, I guess.

I'm faced with losing writers on a daily basis. I've already lost three... well, two and a half, because one of them just went from staff to freelancer. They're dropping like flies.

One of the goners doesn't know that journalism writing is an entirely different thing from creative writing, and refuses to write like a journalist, er, he's a journalism major. I don't know how that works. Buh-bye.

The other is an awkward girl just out of high school, and I'm thinking home school thanks to her strange social demeanor. She flaked out on the first article we gave her, but she had the decency to let us know ahead of time. The second article she did the work for, but can't write it, because her Dad won't let her be on the paper anymore. AAAAAAAA! The things I must go through just to get content!

*SIGH*

I am just going to hang in there and pray for everyone to come through, while suppressing the urge to rage on the staff, and those who prevented James from being Editor.

Congratulations to me anyway.

Note to self: Keep my head from exploding

There's a first time for everything. I've never been one to stress out to the point where crying is the only remedy I am able to carry out, but it looks like now is the time for this feeling to surface.

It could be age, it could be my long absence from an environment with actual deadlines, or it could just be that my responsibilities really are overwhelming... whatever the cause, I'm freaking out. This Assistant Editor gig is taking a lot out of me! I'm getting bombarded by emails daily from the Editor, the advisor, and the section editors, all asking me about time-sensitive issues, that I must scramble to resolve or answer. This is not including the stuff I already have on my plate to do.

Being that this is a school newspaper, this is all done on a small scale, of course, but it's not any less stressful than at a newspaper with a larger audience, I imagine. I'm overwhelmed to the point where I am not sure I can do the job, but then I go back and I think that this is a learning experience, and that these feelings are inevitable-- of course I can do the job! This is just the beginning.

The advisor seems to understand that we should take things easy for our first issue, but I sometimes feel like the Editor doesn't understand that, and just wants to plunge right in like we've been doing this forever. It's not just the actual putting together of the paper that is difficult, it's largely getting everyone to work together effectively, efficiently, and getting them all on the same page. That's the hardest part when you've got a machine that has different parts, each of those parts doing its own individual job in the hope that the end result is collectively the same.

Again, this is a learning experience. Stress is something that one must learn to cope with along with all the other facets of a job, but I guess I'm just not used to this degree of stress.

There is a good side to this, though. It's making me want to drive ahead and give this gig my all. At this point, I think I have no other choice, and I'm happy to adhere.

Now if I can just keep my head from exploding, I think I'll be OK!