A sunset is what we Muslims like to see during Ramadan, but there is so much more than just food that we crave.
Ramadan is here. Well, actually, it touched down yesterday, but I'm just now blogging about it.
What can I say about this sacred month that I haven't already? Each year, I begin with the hope that through the spirituality that comes attached to this month, I will detox my soul and begin afresh once the Eid celebrations are here. Each year I think I succeed in detoxing, but it's so easy to load back up on the toxifying things once Ramadan is over.
That is what I hope to change this year.
Not that I am doing evil and horrible things after Ramadan is over, but I am always hoping that I keep my mind free of negative thoughts, keep my mind open to all kinds of ideas, and never judge anything or anyone before knowing the facts, at which point the facts might eliminate the need to judge in the first place. Sometimes that can be a tall order, because no matter how much we, as human beings, tell ourselves to live and let live, sometimes, it's just impossible to do just that. Why? Because we're human, and when we see someone doing something that we perceive as wrong, we naturally and instinctively react.
I know I will never be a saint, but through the spirituality that comes as a gift with the month of Ramadan, I sometimes feel hopeful that the gap between me and a saint shrinks. I know that gap will never disappear or be hard to spot, but just like happiness is a path and not a place, so is being the best person one can be.
Today marks the first day of Eid al-Fitr-- the big feast following the month of Ramadan. Last year I did a sort of reflection on the past month, and this year, I will do the same.
This year's Ramadan was a mixed bag.
On the one hand most days I didn't even notice I was fasting. I think I was either too busy to think about it, or was doing a good job of replenishing the night before. People were eating in front of me and bringing food in to the newspaper meetings to share, but none of it even fazed me. I felt strong, empowered and able to do anything.
On the other hand I had a very difficult month. Having just come out of a long absence from set schedules and dealing with the world on a daily basis, I was still getting used to my new life and schedule when Ramadan came along. I was already having trouble, but with fasting it just got way too difficult to concentrate on certain things. Plus, things happened at the newspaper that stressed me out, and that would do anybody in, whether fasting or not.
Also making things difficult this Ramadan was me being too tired to perform the spiritual rites of this month. Reading the Koran took a hit this year, which I'm very bummed about, though I did pray, or did tarawih, each night, which counts as reading the Koran, but still... it's just not the same.
Now, I'm gonna have to get used to breakfast again, along with lunch and everything else that I don't do during Ramadan. It's nice to have things go back to normal, but I don't feel like I did enough this year. Next year I plan to manage my time better and do everything right, inshalla (God willing).
It is amazing just how well I'm getting along with every person I'm working with at the paper. I haven't had so much fun and bonded with so many people in ages.
I went to campus yesterday for a mini meeting. Even though it was Friday, a cloudy day and barely anyone was at school, it turned out to be a blast. I got to know the people I'm working with better in a less formal setting. We had more than a few laughs, found out stuff about each other, and just plain had fun.
I'm really looking forward to getting to know all these people more, and perhaps making friends outside of school and away from the newspaper office.
Things will be even more fun when the numerous invitations I receive to go out to eat or get a cup of coffee can be taken up. I haven't been having any trouble fasting for Ramadan, as far as feeling hungry, or too out of it, but I am facing this social obstacle. It won't last long though. This is the sixth day of Ramadan, which leaves 23-24 days until things go back to normal. Ramadan is usually 29 or 30 days, depending on the lunar cycle, never more, never less. Hence, the 23-24 days.
Speaking of Ramadan, like I said, it's going really well. In fact, I don't even feel hungry during the day. I'm not watching the clock and sun with my mouth open and ready for the first bite hovering infront of my face...
Maybe it's me keeping busy, or perhaps it's just that I'm fueling up well enough in the evenings to hold me over until dinnertime, but at least for now it's just not an issue. This makes me very happy.
It's hard to believe how fast we went from my birthday to Labor Day weekend, to Ramadan beginning September 1st-- Labor Day.
Looking back at the events of the last eight months-- just four months left of 2008, YIKES!-- it's all kind of a blur. I know that somewhere in that jumble of events leading up to this moment, my brother came out for a visit in January; a new friendship bloomed with the spring; and I'm now an Assistant Editor for a school newspaper while attending a class to help me get my work published.
In other words, time flies when you're having fun, and there is still more fun to be had.
The last few years the holy month of Ramadan has fallen during the months when the sun goes down fairly early, making the fasting not so bad with shorter daylight hours and cooler temperatures. It's still difficult to go about your day without being able to even take a sip of water then, but it's not so bad if the weather is cool, and again, the sun is up a small number of hours you are awake.
This year, Ramadan is right on the cusp of only subtle changes in the transition from summer to fall, and too long before daylight savings time "falls forward". Given that I'm at school two days a week, and have to attend newspaper meetings on those days that keep me on campus until rush hour traffic really marinates the route home, it's going to be one heck of a month of fasting beginning as soon as tomorrow.
Despite the degree of difficulty this Ramadan will possess for the time of year, and my schedule, I'm looking forward to the spiritual aspect of this month, when I get to sit with myself and read the Quran. That was such a beautiful and enriching experience that felt like a mental detox last year, I can't wait to experience it again.
As a result, and in preparation for the busy schedule ahead, I wanted to take it easy today. So, I spent a lot of time doing things I don't think I'll have time to do during Ramadan.
I sat outside on the deck reading to enjoy the last bits of summer and relax before things get too busy for such precious time, and noticed that the sun was not only beating down on the section of the deck that in the summer gets completely shaded by late afternoon, but it was also extremely and alarmingly hotter than usual. It felt like someone was holding a magnifying glass to my skin, just waiting for the sun's rays to burn my flesh like a poor, defenseless ant. Though I had sunscreen on, I chose to move to the little bit of shaded area on the deck to avoid hearing a sizzle from my skin, and that made my relaxation time a lot more pleasant, as there was a nice breeze in the air. The breeze would pick up and turn into serious wind ever so often and shake things up enough to make you think a storm was coming, but then the rustle of the leaves would soften, and soon you'd be back to enjoying a soft, cool and totally pleasant breeze.
Later, I came inside and did stuff I'd been putting off on the computer. I created a draft of the newspaper guidelines I was asked to make over the weekend, and then wracked my brain trying to come up with story ideas for Tuesday's meeting. The only somewhat interesting story ideas I came up with were finding out if and how the school is making efforts to be "green", and how high gas prices are affecting things like enrollment and students' ways of getting to school. I was supposed to come up with five ideas, and the other three are even lamer than the ones I just mentioned, but I'm just using them as fillers on the list for the time being. Perhaps something more substantial will come to me between now and Tuesday afternoon, but I doubt it.
After getting that stuff done I visited one of my favorite authors' blog and spent over an hour reading her treasure trove of insight into writing the way and things I want to write. The phenomenon of blogs is that they provide a great and convenient way to peek inside the mind of a brilliant author, and making them human to those awestruck by their creations. I think one of the most helpful resources when trying to write right is getting a glimpse of how an established writer, er, author, weaves a flawless tapestry in anything BUT methods. Getting that glimpse, you begin to see that your inability to stay focused enough to write more than six coherent sentences is hardly a unique problem, but rather the only way to write when you have a life on the side.
You also get to see just where this author gets his/her ideas, and it brings them down to earth, eliminating the perception you have of them being super beings with a super-compartment in their brain where great stories are stored-- all they have to do is sort through them and pick the one they want to write down on paper. This of course does not lessen the awe with which you view them, mind you. On the contrary-- it makes someone like me think the author I'm spying on through their blog even more brilliant in my eyes for the simplicity with which they are able to tell such amazing stories. It's totally inspiring and heartening to see their struggle, and it encourages you to keep going full steam ahead, despite your crazy life getting in the way.
I will leave you now with a video of a song called "Ahlan Ramadan", which translates to Welcome Ramadan. It is a traditional song sung and played to welcome the holy month.
